Monday, November 28, 2011

Giving up...

I had yet another bad weekend.

I went to go get my cat, Smokey, from my old home, and also decided to take the other cat as well. I did technically cat-nap him… But for the past 4 years that I have lived there, it has been ME who has fed and loved him. Me who saved him from being tortured by my nephews… It was with me and on my bed where he slept every night. And it was my lap that he curled up on in the evenings. My sister actually let a complete stranger “adopt” his mother, and it was clear it was me who was affected most by the death of his brother… I have lived with and LOVED that cat for the past 4 out of his 5 years on this earth. Unfortunately for me, my sister knows this… And on the night of our fight, she threatened me that I would never see him or the puppy again… Looks like her threat is becoming reality.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Feeling helpless...

Thanks for the support, Jemma and Emma (ahh, I do like Rhymes).

I started to move some of my belongings last night. I felt free as I drove along Beach Road towards the place I will now call home… But, as I got closer, it sunk in that this is for real. Once I move out there is no going back.

I’m really worried. 

After one of my sisters’ episodes (the BIG one) I thought to myself, this is her rock bottom, surely… Feeling somewhat relieved that after reaching this low point, she’d realise her wrong-doings and actually do what she needs to be doing (looking after her children etc)… But no, she hasn’t and I’m wondering if she ever will. And if that wasn’t rock-bottom, than I fear for what rock-bottom is like. I really do. 

You saw the pictures of the beautiful puppy we have… Well, I have been trying to distance myself from him and his sweet puppy dog eyes, as the more time I spend with him, the more in love I become… and the more attached we both are. This morning, and other mornings too, but this morning especially upset me… I went into his jail area, to find the whole floor slippery wet with wee…  his water bowl empty and no food. I fill it up and his food bowl too… Who knows when she’ll be back. I clean the floor so at least it isn’t wet so he won’t slip over, which as anyone with experience with German Shepherds would know is like begging for hip injury, not to mention just how disgusting and unfair it is. I am already late for work, as I have been every morning since we got the puppy, cos unlike her I can’t walk away and leave him in that mess and with no food or at the least water. I did the same thing last night… When, she went upstairs, I finally felt as though I could be downstairs (lately I have been going straight up to my room)but  I was faced with a wet with wee floor, which I had to mop and a poor little puppy basically covered in his own wee. 

It’s just f*cked. 

As of tomorrow I won’t be living at that house anymore. My furniture gets moved out tomorrow and I will no longer have a bed there…  I think I have to tell my dad… It is technically his dog, although my sister clearly got him with the intention of being able to parade him around as her own, yet not take care of him. I will ask my dad if I can take the puppy with me… At least I will take care of him. My sister moans about all the things she has to do… Yet she does NOTHING. I’m in shock and so angry. And helpless because I am work, and she’s off enjoying herself, while the puppy is in prison and swimming in his own wee.


Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Moving on...

Hi Guys…

Oh my, I have been having a really really tough time lately. 

My last post introduced you to my Dad’s birthday present puppy… I admitted I had fallen in love, head over heels in fact. And though it pains me, I actually have to leave him.

In my past posts, I have mentioned my pet family and how much they mean to me… But other than them, my home life is awful. I posted about trouble I was having with my sister and it has gotten worse. A lot worse. I don’t deserve to be treated the way I have, and it breaks my heart to leave, but I have to.
I have broken down in tears many times… And even people who don’t know my situation noticed something was wrong.

I feel like I have been backed into a corner, and my sister knows how much I LOVE my family and my pets, which I think is why she thought she could treat me so badly and that I wouldn’t do anything about it (ie: leave). My family (who don’t live with me) and my friends all think it’s time I moved out and most thought I should have long ago… But, my God, it is so much easier said than done. Luckily for me, my Mum has offered to let me live with her. She lives in Port Melbourne… Life will be great there. No doubt about it. But I am extremely apprehensive about leaving my babies… But I have to, for my own sanity.

I think, due to being so unhappy at home, I put all of my affection and adoration into my pets, and as everyone knows, pets give unconditional love… and now I have to leave them. It breaks my heart and is what has kept me there so long… And worse still, I know it will be used against me. She has already told me before ‘for someone who claims to love their family so much, you sure are selfish’… This is all due to her selfishness and just abusing my kindness and taking advantage of me. And then using it against me. 

It probably sounds like I’m a bit of a Drama Queen, and I wish I could tell you the back story…  

I feel broken.
She said things to me that I will never forget.