Wednesday, March 27, 2013

♡ Week Six Results

Hi Guys…

Just a quick post today. It’s my 6th week weigh in and it wasn’t too great. Nuts.

I have stayed the same for nearly a whole week. 6 days to be precise. According to the weight loss prophesies I foresee a big loss when I weigh in tomorrow. I have no idea why this keeps happening. I seem to lose the day after my weigh in. haha

I weigh 1.1 kilos less than last week. Taking my total lost to 11.5 kilos in 6 weeks. I am still only 23% of the way through my ‘journey’ though.

I have to attend a funeral tomorrow. *sigh

A friend of mine, who is the brother of one of my besties, took his own life last week. As you can imagine this has been incredibly shocking and I don’t think it has really even hit me yet. Not until tomorrow, I’m sure.

I have one black dress that fits and still haven’t found it yet. I am procrastinating on the looking front but I need to find it tonight or I will be in big trouble tomorrow! I also need to wash my hair tonight and do all sorts of things. I worry over the little things that no one will even notice. It must make me feel in control to preoccupy my mind with them. Like, I want to wash and ‘do my hair and I feel like I ‘need’ to have my nails painted. I have been thinking of a nice grey colour, but does it even matter?! No.

I am also worried that I haven’t been doing a good job comforting my friend. I am terrible at it. The friend who had lost contact with her went to her house yesterday and stayed till the evening. What have I done? Nothing- well one call and some messages and emails. Hmm, maybe it is okay that I leave the comforting to the ones who can handle it. Plus I am sure she is being bombarded with messages and calls left right and centre.

This whole situation has also brought to mind that life is too short. I had to tell one of my friends about the death and I found that really hard. For the obvious reason and also that we have been ‘estranged’ for quick awhile (years). Since I told her, we have made massive strides in our relationship and I think a bridge may even have been mended. If there can even be a silver lining, this could be it.

It has also made me think of my ‘thing’ between me and my Dad. I still haven’t spoken to him. He reached out and I ignored his calls, then he sent me a message saying to contact him when I was ready but also that he doesn’t think he has done anything wrong. So, I don’t know… Bottom line, I’m not ready to talk to him about it all and I’ve had other things on my mind.

Anyway, so that’s what’s happening in my world at the moment.



Thursday, March 21, 2013

Bottling emotions, until the Bottle POPS

Hey Guys…

I had a really stressfully emotional night last night.


You see, my sister has been unwell and if you’ve read of my posts about family you would see I had a lot of issues with her. Long story short is that I eventually moved out- but I had already suffered a lot. I felt like I was always taking a backseat in my family because others would be so effed up that there was never time for me.

My Dad has 10 children (4 different mums)… So it makes sense that some of us had to disappear. We are all spread out a lot. Especially me. I am the most spread out of us all. My sister is 12 years older than me and my little brother is 6 years younger- everyone else is 1 or 2 years apart. You’d almost think I would have had a lot of attention. But I didn’t. Or maybe I did but I was too young to remember.

Anyway, since I moved out (I lived with my Dad and my sister and her 2 sons), I haven’t had much to do with my sister. She is going through something and I don’t want to be part of it- it’s destructive. She uses me and does nothing to help her situation. My dad would call me now and then just say hello. It started to dawn on me that almost every call was to update me on my sister after he put in the obligatory 'small chat'. ‘Oh she’s not doing well’ ‘when was the last time you saw her’ ‘ she’s very skinny‘ ‘oh she has so much on her plate.’ Every call was under a minute long and most of that was him telling me about my sister.

I can’t really explain and I probably sound like I am evil, but he has always put her problems onto me. Since I was at least 19. She had a nervous breakdown and I was the one who had to help her through it. Last night was the final straw. He asked me when was the last time I saw her. Well, it was that weekend when I babysat my nephew so she could go to a night club. Call me crazy, but she can’t be too sick if she can go to a nightclub. Anyway, I don’t want my post here to be about her, but after I got off the phone I felt really low. My dad puts all this guilt on me as though I am supposed to do something about her problems when she won’t even help herself. I started toying with the idea of telling him how I felt. I have never done that. I bottle my emotions, keep them deep down inside. I knew I couldn’t ‘speak’ to him, as I get too emotional and make no sense. So, I wrote him a letter (to send electronically).

I cried while I wrote it. I asked him what it was he wanted me to do about my sister, and didn’t he notice that the last time I ‘helped’ my life was turned upside down and no one cared and it didn’t help her, it just hurt me. I told him he only sees what she wants him to see and if he only knew the truth. I told him how I now know how our family works… ‘he who screams loudest gets the attention’- I am not like that. I told him I don’t want him to call me only to tell me how badly she is doing. I told how all my life I have reached out to him, only to be pushed aside. I have always felt like a nuisance… Just something that everyone had to find something to do with. I was in the way. I used to stay at my step-mums on weekends just so I could see him when he would visit them… I used to go to his work after to school just to see him, even if it was only to spend time with him as he would drive me home. If I hadn’t made those efforts, I wouldn’t have seen him. I have never told him how all this has made me feel. I said all I want is for you to not call me to remind me how less important I am than everyone else.

I did feel like a weight had been lifted off me just writing it all down. I was unsure of sending the message. I know it would make him sad… but I honestly can’t handle it anymore. It’s every time I talk to him. I sent the message. I told him I didn’t want to talk about it, I just wanted him to know how I felt and how it makes me feel when he tried to guilt me. I did receive a reply this morning. It was pretty okay and he barely mentioned my sister, only to say ‘he didn’t know’ and that ‘maybe’ he was ‘blind about some things’… Better than nothing. He also said we needed to talk. I don’t want to. To be honest, since I moved out I gave up. I decided that he had made his choice and my sisters’ problems were more important than anyone’s and most definitely more important than my happiness. I decided I wasn’t going to continue to reach out anymore to him, only to get burned again. I also think is why I am still mad at her. I blame her for what has happened to my relationship with my dad. I know he thinks less of me for walking away. He said to me ‘I thought you were stronger than that’… I said ‘well, you were wrong’ and walked away.

Anyway, I had knots in my stomach… and had trouble getting to sleep. When I woke up I was okay, until I remembered what had happened. Back to feeling queasy. I then checked my phone and saw the message from my dad and had a nice cry in the shower.

I am a coward but I don’t care anyway. I am who I am and I can’t help that. This is the first time I ever told my Dad how I really feel, usually I just put on a brave face and pretend I am okay. When my dad tries to call me again, I won’t be answering. It’ll probably be tonight but I’m just not ready. I have really exposed my true feelings and it’s scary. I feel raw and exposed.

Sorry for the post. But I need to get it all out. I saw a psychologist a few years ago, but it was when I was quite depressed and seeing the doctor and going to work 3 times a week were literally all I did. The rest of the time I was in bed, at home and ordering takeaway food. Unfortunately the half-rebated Medicare appointments were all used up before I could even get to my family issues.        

Thanks for reading if you did. 


Wednesday, March 20, 2013

♡ Week Five Results

Hey Guys!

Hope you are all fine and dandy. I am pretty good, in case you were wondering! haha.

So, today was my 5 week weigh in.

UNFORTUNATELY my weight loss for the week is sorta ‘left over’ from last week! What do I mean by that? Well, I have weighed the exact same amount for 5 or 6 days straight! Exactly the same! Not 100 gram difference on any day! Quite frustrating!

But anyway, this week I managed 1.4 kilos. Taking my total lost to 10.4 kilos. Pretty good for 5 weeks… and even better for 4 weeks and 1 or 2 days! Haha.

I purchased some cute as pie OTK boots (Over the Knee) on the eBay and I got them yesterday… as they were getting sent I thought hmm I might check the measurements. The seller had given the measurement for the bit that supposedly goes over your knee, I had a sneaking suspicion the thigh bit wouldn't fit, well not at the moment anyway… Eek, no way, not a chance!! I need to lose like 10 something cms there for it fit over my knee (EEEEK) and even then I actually want it to be a little loose. I am still 100% happy with my purchase though! They are everything I want in a boot (OTK, Black, Quilting, Buckles, wedge or flat, round toe, JUICY!)! They retail for US$249 (and $349 at David Jones!) and I got them for $99!! Bargainous!

Juicy OTK Wedge Boots!

I have wanted over the knee boots since I went to Canada, however long ago that was- I just checked, it was February 2010! All the chic ladies were wearing them, and I wanted to be chic too! Haha.

I bought a pair but they finally disintegrated last year (I still have them of course… haha, such a hoarder!). They weren't super expensive… Maybe $50, so they definitely weren't quality material. These new ones are though! Waxy suede- whatever that means! My Mum says it means water should run right off them. Hope so! I never wanted anything that was too high, or a stiletto heel (screams ‘street walker’) but the wedges are really comfy (I squeezed my leg into them to test if the shoe part fit) and I could actually walk in them and they felt very comfortable and supported. I have wide and fat feet so that is a big accomplishment! I couldn't even get the thigh bit over my calves though! Oh Lordy! Anyhoo… These will be perfect come winter. And super cute with my ‘leather-look’ leggings! Dontcha think??

Oh and back to my weigh in… I also take my measurements weekly and I quickly punch the deets into my phone and don’t even think about them. Afterwards, I am supposed to transcribe them into my journal and compare them to the week before. I haven’t done it now for 2 weigh ins! Naughty! I might sit down and do it now. Maybe I've been losing inches, wouldn't that be nice?!

That’s it from me! Speak to you all soon!


Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Benefit Brow Bar, Ted Baker and Winning at Internet Shopping!

Hey Kittens!

Hope you are all well!

Last week as one of my reward for being a good girl in my weight loss quest, I treated myself to a Brow wax/shape at Benefit at Myer Melbourne.

I had been there before as reviewed here, but I figured, hmm, why not review it again! haha.

I went to the city on Thursday afternoon when I had been let out of jail work early. I have been on the hunt for this GORGEOUS Ted Baker make up bag I spotted while browsing some UK blogs... As I approached the city I thought hey! My brows are unruly, why not get the hair ripped out with hot wax as a treat for my weight loss?! haha. Yes, a treat.

I asked the bene-babe (or whatever they refer themselves as) to take a pic of my scary looking eyebrows.
She took the worst pic ever!

The lighting in Myer is scary. I am an oil slick!! And I swear I am not usually that oily looking.

I had to crop the pic as I was mid-sentence when she took the photo... Horrendous!

GAH! Unruly Brows!!! Oil Slick City!!

And after she ripped the hairs out and then filled my brows in... This was the result...

Note my shifty eye.

I think she used too dark a brow powder on me... I have been using the lighter shade of brown myself and it has been much less 'Hey! LOOK! Look at me! I fill in my brows!'

Also in that first "after" pic, can you see the patchy foundation job above my eyebrow ? I got offered a 10 minute makeover, which I totally accepted but ew to the foundation. It looks yellow... And when I got home it looked like I was wearing a mask. There was a very noticeable jaw line. Tsk Tsk. Bad bene-babe!

The bene-babe also used the posie tint on me. I loved it! I had never given it a second look... But the price is outrageous .. It was $50 something dollars. After you have shopped in the US you just can't bring yourself to spend that kind of monies!

That was until she showed me this cute little set...

Yes, yes I am feeling Dandy!

I was ainstantly sold on the adorable-ness of the minis. Then I was told it was on sale as well! I can't remember how much it is usually, but I only paid $40! Pretty good, I reckon!

It comes with a mini posie tint, a mini highbeam, a lip gloss and a blush! Perfect way to test out some items!! I haven't got any of these!

Please look at the cuteness!

So, that was a success... Then I wandered over to David Jones to find my wash bag!

SOLD OUT! &*%^%#$(*^^%#

I noticed there was a cute grey one and was úhmming'and áhhing' over it. It isn't exactly what I want, but, hmmm. Then I noticed it had these weird pink marks on it- like where something else had rubbed against it (probably the hot pink wash bag I actually wanted!)... I thought hmmmm, maybe I can get a discount. *cheesy grin*

I finally found a salesperson, 20 minutes later... and asked if they had any stock of my HOT PINK bag and she said everything they have is on the floor- *sad face*... I asked if she could check another store... Apparently not. I don't believe that, she just didn't want to do it. She was roughly 50 years old and more interested in talking to her co-workers than helping out a customer. That's Aussie retail for you! And they wonder why we shop overseas online... I showed her the marks on the grey one and was offered 20% off. I took it.

This isn't mine, obviously...  FYI, the pink marks are near the zipper and barely noticeable

I still wanted the pink one. In pure desperation, I had also now called DJs at Chaddy and Southland- but still no dice. I also called the Ted Baker store, but there was no answer.

On Sunday I went into the city again- this time with my little nephew- I needed a DAISO fix. So, I dragged him along to the actual Ted Baker store (located in Little Collins) but nope, no stock. I also tried DJs again,, just in case, but nope. haha. Yes, I was desperate.

I eventually gave in and decided to buy it online with DJs. I didn't want to, purely due to the $10 postage (yes, I am that tight- especially after all my efforts thus far)... but after a little bit of web sleuthing I found myself a code for 10% off... Unfortunately it didn't cover the shipping. Nuts.

Then I noticed you get FREE shipping if you spent over $50- of course the bag was $49.95 (can you believe it?!). So, I tried to find the cheapest thing I sorta kinda wanted... and nearly settled on an OPI nail file for $3.95, but honestly... I just don't need one.

I finally settled on a small bottle of Kiehls Creme de Corps for $15... Which, in the end, was essentially free! With my 10% discount and now the free shipping it came out the same as if I hadn't bought the creme at all! Muhahahahaha! I won that round DJs! Suckers!!

So, this beautiful pink bag is on it's way to me!!!! Yay!!! I bought it yesterday afternoon and got a dispatch notice this morning! Yay!

Look at that pink!!! I think mine is the smaller version  Same as the grey. But it is a great size! I have all my essentials in the grey now and there is room for more!

* My 5 week weigh in is tomorrow!


Wednesday, March 13, 2013

♡ Week Four Results

Hey Kittens!

I hope you are all well!

I am totally reneging on my promise not to bombard you with weight loss malarkey .. here I am, fourth post in a row, talkin' about my weight loss venture!

But first of all let me say...
Hallelujah the heat wave in Melbourne is OVER.

I suffered big time. Damn you heat + sweat that equals hot, sweaty rashes! YUCK.

Firstly, and most horrifically, I have a heat rash in a really unfortunate area! (my groin). It is so so SO uncomfy. And as if that wasn't bad enough, on the weekend I used my newly acquired epilator on my underarms. ZOMG. Big mistake!!!

At first everything was fine and I was really happy and impressed with the results, I was even planning to sing its' praises on my wee little blog... Then came the burning. OMG, the burning. Well... 4 days later and I am still burning with the most disgusting rashy welts that are extremely painful. I feel like if maybe I had done it on a 'normal' weekend and not in the midst of a heatwave I would have been okay... but oh my Gosh. The worst!

{side note: I used the epilator on my legs and it's awesome, didn't hurt anywhere near as much as I thought it would}

So, in short, I am a walking rash. A painful walking rash. Ohhh and my thigh chafing has decided to rear its' ugly head. I'll tell you, if this isn't a good reason to NEVER be overweight (severely obese, really), then I don't know what is! Besides the serious health issues as well... hehe. Good Grief!

Anyway, I have been trying to treat my rashes... by keeping the areas dry, but in 37 degree heat. it's pretty hard! Especially when the morning bus drivers don't seem to like turning on the air-con and I am literally saturated before I even get to work!! I read online to keep my underarms moisturised after epilating, which I dutifully adhered to (the internets never lie, derr)... but, um, yeh, I think that's where I went wrong and why I am suffering big time right now. I am now throwing anti chaf powder around like it's confetti.

So, in short. I. AM. UNCOMFORTABLE.

Anyway... enough about me and my heat induced rash and onto my fourth week results.

I will say, these four weeks has gone by really quickly. At the beginning I was really disheartened by how long my journey (Gosh, I hate that word, thank you biggest loser*) was going to be, but it's just gotta be done. I got myself into this mess, so now I have to suffer the consequence- harsh, but true. The diet isn't really suffering per se, but it does have many challenges.

On to the results. I am shocked at my results this week. I was really expecting a crappy week, as I have a) had good losses in the past 3 weeks and b) it is Thomas Time. Surprisingly, I managed to lose 1.9 kilos. That's a grande totale of 9 kilos in 4 weeks (28 days!).

On another note, my Cotton On order came really quickly! Within 2 days actually. I love when online shopping gets to you quickly. Nothing worse than waiting. I LOL'd at Krissy saying the shorts were 'EW' (note the caps). When I looked at them again I was like 'sh!t, are they?!'... When I got them in my hands I came to this conclusion... yes, yes I believe they are! hahaha. The leggings on the other hand are pretty damn good (especially the other pair I didn't actually show on the blog, they are available in store, apparently!).

Another purchase I made was on the eBay (my parents call it 'the eBay')... I got a Juicy Couture tracksuit and an another pair of track pants (2 separate Auctions, same seller). They have 'New York' written on them, which is why I wanted them. When I was in NYC, I stumbled into the Juicy Couture store on 5th Ave, but noticed my sister and brother were completely bored, so I pretended I was finished looking (I so wasn't, I was only in there for 10 mins, max). I was really peeved I didn't get a chance to go back on my own and even more bummed I didn't buy anything when I had the chance. So, these pants were perfect and I plan to fib and say I got them in NYC. They are a New York exclusive afterall. Yay. And they were only $30, double yay! Oh oh and the bestest of best bits... All the pieces are genuine! haha.

I also bought myself a Juicy Couture iPad case for my Samsung Galaxy Tab. Nowhere has CUTE galaxy tab cases! I have a pink one I bought from an Asian store in the city, but it's too bulky and it shows marks easily. The Juicy one is an envelope style carrier in steel grey (and looks black), with a gold turn lock. I haven't received it yet, but it looks fancy!

That's all folks!

(Yay for the cool change!)


* I am excited for the biggest loser to start this Sunday. Oh yes I am.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

♡ Week Three Results

Hiya Guys and Dolls!

Hope everyone is well!

I ended up getting those Co. by Cotton On Leggings as well as a different pair they had in their normal section. I had a 30% off code, so it was silly not to buy them! They are "leather" or should I say pleather...

Side Note; this guy a friend of mine used to date called it fleather. Fleather?!... I don't think that's even a term. He insisted there was no such term as pleather and that it was fake leather= fleather. This is also the guy that insisted Michael Jackson never sang Billy Jean- it was when some cover was released and he had obviously never heard the song before, he claimed Michael would never sing about something so violent... And once when I used the term 'garnishing wages' he laughed at me and said that wasn't a real term. What an idiot!

Anyway  I digress... I also bought a pair of pleather (haha) shorts... I got them in a 10 (wishful thinking) as it was the only size they had... And I am so glad I did. The shorts are now sold out!

Co by Cotton on shorts were $34.95 - 30%. I also wanted the jacked but thought it was a bit much! haha

I love the sporty luxe look!

So, cutting to the chase here, today was my 3 week weigh in and I lost 1.2 kilos! Taking my total to 7.1 kilos... which I am rather happy with!!! I expect the losses to slow down now... I believe I am now in the FAT burning stage! YAY!

Catch up soon!