Wednesday, August 29, 2012

One Week and One Day...

That’s right, only one week and one day till The BF comes back! Yay! That’s 8 days for those of you playing at home *wink

I apologise for my lack of blog posts… I have actually been doing *shudders* work at work lately (what a crock!) and by the time I get home I am not interested in even looking at a computer screen. Though I happily browse blogs on my iPhone, I wouldn’t dare type a post on there.

As I mentioned in my last post, I sent the BF a little list of products to get me from Sephora in Poland… But as it turns out, they hardly stocked any of them! I only got Benefit They’re Real Mascara. Apparently it’s a full size tube and a little travel one too. Cute! No Naked palette for me. I’ll have to buy it online! Oh the horror!



The BF is leaving Poland now (like right now) and going to Amsterdam for a few days… then he flies to Korea, where the time difference is a lot more palatable. While he was in Poland we were pretty much completely opposite. He would stay up late (like 1am) to say good morning to me, and I would be saying good morning to him as I was traveling home from work.

We hit some relationship turbulence while he was away. For some unknown reason I started talking about how I wanted a baby. Yes. A baby. And then he started getting a bit funny and, let’s face it, freaked out. I have brought up children before though. I didn’t (and don’t) want to be in a relationship where we had different goals in life. I want a family (big time) and I ain’t getting any younger. And back then, he said he wanted that too.

It doesn’t sound as though he has changed his mind entirely, but he has been ‘between jobs’ for a really long time. A real victim of unemployment, if you will. He has had some contracting work, but he doesn’t want just any job, he wants a job in the field that he studied in. I don’t really get that (higher education drop-out over here) and thought he should just get a job. Any job. Stacking shelves at Coles New World. Something. Anything. So, that’s contributing to him not being ready for a family, which is fair enough.

But then… Oh yes, but then… He tells me he applied for a job in Poland. “Just to see what would happen.” Like what Lily from How I met Your Mother did applying for the art school in another state just to see if they would accept her). He got an interview, which he didn’t go to, but he said how in Melbourne, it’s like 20 applications with only 1 interview… and in Poland he was asked for an interview on his one and only job application. So, then he started saying he wanted to move to Poland. Move there. What the?! He said the only thing he has to look forward to in Melbourne is me. Which is sweet, but eeeeeek.

Then he started feeling really down and saying that he felt like he had been wasting my time and that I’d probably be married with babies by now if it wasn’t for him. I didn’t really know what to say. After reassuring him (etc) I was feeling pretty worried about it all. His response? I’ll be back soon. What does that even mean?! He later said he was having a bad day, feeling bad about not having a job and then me asking about marriage and babies. Yep, I asked about marriage too.

I don’t want him to move to Poland. I don’t think I could leave Melbourne.

I didn't really mean to get into all of this in this post. I was actually just thinking yay 8 days to go. But 8 days to go till what? Am I in limbo?! I don’t actually think so, but really, I can’t wait around forever. I have PCOS and I am already scared about my baby making capabilities… so I want to try as soon as I can, that way I’ll know as early as poss if I need help.♡Missy

9 comments:

  1. Sending hugs. I'm sure it will be easier to talk and sort things out once you are face to face xx

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  2. Oh dear, what a situation! As Emma has said, I'm sure it will be easier to talk about and sort things out when he is back. Only 8 more days! :) x

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  3. Oh god, I know how you feel! I'm so desperate for SJ to get a job that fits his PhD that I'd do anything...but then, if he got that job overseas and wanted to live there forever I don't know what I'd do. How could I ever leave my family?

    Truth is though, if it happened, I would go. I love him too much not to follow him anywhere. If I did though and I was unhappy, he loves me too much to not want to change the situation and we'd end up moving back again etc.

    We've had some very similar conversations, particularly there 'where you could be otherwise' one. I could easily be married and owning a few houses by now if I had an older boyfriend and one who has been studying and unemployed for the last 10 years.

    At the end of the day though, I'm still happier with him in our current situation than I would be with a lot of money but without him by my side.

    It'll all work out, it always does. Whatever way it's supposed to go. I completely understand where he's coming from and what it might mean for him to have a job overseas. Just keep an open mind when you get home, remember that no move is ever really permanent and you can always move back again.

    The lack of jobs in Melbourne/Australia in his industry may be temporary and he might gain a heap of experience overseas and be able to come back to a higher position etc etc.

    If you did move, think of all the shopping you could do, and the weekends away to Paris and London...there would be a lot of positives.

    I know I'm rambling, I can't help it :-P

    All I'm trying to say is, just talk about it. Be open to his ideas and honest about your own. You might be able to come to some sort of arrangemnt like a 2 year plan for living over there or something, and at the 2 year deadline if you want to come home you do and he gets 'whatever' job he can find.

    You'll sort it out.

    Email me if you want to talk xx (missdirections(a)gmail.com)

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  4. He sounds soo much like my husband. Worrying about not being able to provide for me and any future babies we might have. I think all men worry like this. My husband was also jobless for a few months and was just sooo down most of the time about it =[ He still wishes he had a better paying job. To me, it doesnt matter. We are comfortable. We dont own a house, but i dont mind. We are not starving, we actually have more than we can eat, we have clothes and shelter. I just dont want him to worry. Things will work out in the end. I hope your man will realise that.

    Maybe he should look at jobs in other states in Australia. At least that way you wont leave the COUNTRY!! I live in Perth, and there are a lot of job opportunities here. But not so much in Finance (which is what my husband does) It took him 3 months to find his current job...

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  5. Oh, hun. :( We all go through relationship ups and downs so don't feel too bummed.

    That being said, if you feel like things need to be *really* discussed before you guys move forward, it's def best. For the both of you.

    Know this post is a little old so hope things are good. :)

    xx

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