25th June, 2012

We said goodbye to my nephews' Father on Monday. The farewell was lovely and some great stories were shared. There were tears but also some laughs.

I'm really proud of my nephews. The eldest one even spoke at the funeral, which I think is incredibly brave. He read out a poem that his Father had written to my sister. It was really sweet.

The funeral was packed and as I got there a little later than I had hoped, I ended up standing. After the service I made my way to where my nephews were and that was when my tears started.

My nephews had handled everything so well... from when their Dad was first in ICU to when he actually passed but I think everything seems so much more real at a funeral... Seeing their tear stained faces and their little shoulders rising up and down with each gasping sob, turned me into a mess. I think I made it worse. I wanted to be comforting and to say something reassuring, but I think I was mostly incoherent. I don't know how I would have handled myself in their situation, but I'm very impressed with how they handled themselves.

I drove my youngest nephew to the private cremation service and he was his usual happy cheeky self on the drive there and back. Playing Where's Wally and Fruit Ninja on my iPhone.

He was quite enamored with my new scarf too and wouldn't stop petting it... it basically looks like a mess of fluffy balls in the pic below. It is incredibly soft.

Imagine my panic when the dash of colour I wanted to add to my outfit ended up shedding and leaving behind a rainbow of fur over my black jacket and then, worse, leaving a trail on my Nephews black suit. Ooops.

My nephews' Dad was a Leo and always referred to himself as the Lion (and sometimes a Tiger)... When I found these Lion hats near my work I had to get them. There was only one on display at the store, but luckily the storekeeper found another one out the back. They actually really took the time to search for me. I was really grateful. I wasn't sure if my nephews would really care that I got them, but I was wrong. They loved them and wore them on the drive home from the funeral.

This is my Mum modelling the hat. 

My nephews have a lot of great people around them, including my Dad- who is very active in their lives. I also got to know my sisters' new boyfriend a little more during the day too. I like him. He seems really grounded and I think he'll be a good influence on my nephews. The boys also have my Brothers (their Uncles) to help them and of course everyone is eager to help. The sadness doesn't end after the service, know what I mean? If anything, I think things will get harder for them as time passes.  I hope promises don't get forgotten and that people stay true to their word.

♡Missy