Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Update

Sadly my nephews’ Dad, and my quasi-Brother-in-Law, passed away after the decision was made to turn of his life support. He died a little less than 24 hours later (on Monday morning).

My heart is in knots for my nephews. They are actually coping quite well… Even though his death was a shock and unexpected, him being on life support and in ICU, kind of allowed my nephews time to adjust. He was in ICU for 7 days. He suffered damage to his brain and apparently even if he had ‘recovered’ the part of his brain that was actually ‘him’ (personality etc) was the most significantly damaged. So, he was gone.

As is often the case, there was family squabbling over whether or not to turn off the machine. It’s so sad. It seems so surreal, I don't think the reality has sunk in yet. Since it happened I haven’t stopped thinking about him, remembering the good times and even letting the bad times creep in. My nephews’ father and I had our differences… and I’m really glad that last year we kind of settled everything. He and my sister were no longer together and it wasn’t an amicable break up or co-parenting relationship (even though they separated like 7 years ago). I, was, of course, technically “on my sisters side” and she actually used to tell him that, using me in their arguments… Which I didn’t like. What’s between them is between them.

One drunken night he said to me ‘you hate me don’t you?’ and it was the perfect opportunity for me to tell him that whatever happened between him and my sister was between them and hadn’t influenced my judgement of him at all. It’s true too. Whenever I saw him, I was 100% friendly, even after the horror stories I heard. 

My most recent memory was at a family friend’s birthday party where he and I hogged the mic from the band. We were singing up a storm. And it was totally awesome. I wish the songs we sang were more to my taste but ‘mambo #5’ and more specifically “a little bit of Monica in my life” will always hold a special place in my heart. It’s actually the only song I definitely remember we sang, but we hogged the mic for a good hour. Haha.

So, a funeral is on the cards for me at some stage… But I believe there will be an inquest or something into his death. The funeral will be quite big, as he was well known and had a lot of friends as well as a large family. 

He was only 55 and left behind 3 sons. Aged 18, 11 and 8. 

Rest in Peace Marty.

♡Missy

15 comments:

  1. Oh gosh, hun, that's absolutely terrible! I'm so sorry to hear that, and my heart goes out to you, his sons, and all his friends and family. What a terrible situation that no one should ever have to go through!

    Be strong. Your family will need your support, and I know you will be great comfort to them. Just make sure to look after yourself too! xx

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    1. Thank you, Cat.

      I'm grateful that my Nephews are really open and honest with me. They know I would never dismiss anything they have to say and that they can tell me anything.

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  2. So sad :-( I am relieved his kids have a bit of closure though if he was already 'gone' in that sense.

    Hope you're holding up okay xx

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    1. Thanks MissD. I was surprised at how well they are doing... They are actually at school already today. I feel as though it might get harder for them as time wears on.

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  3. This is so sad to hear, sorry for your loss. I hope you are able to comfort your nephews in this terrible time xx

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  4. Such a terribly sad, sad situation. Take care, hugs to you all xxx.

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  5. Very sorry to hear of your loss :(

    x

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  6. So sad. I am sorry for your loss xx

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  7. so so sad. thinking of you and your family
    xx

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