Sad news...

I mentioned on Friday that after work I would be visiting my old friend, Shorty at the Alfred Hospital...

I mentioned how he hadn't been doing too well, and that the last time I saw him, I wasn't sure if he recognised me.

Well, I walked into his room, a special little private one and to my surprise the lights were dimmed and he was sleeping (and snoring), I was elated. I was talking to the quasi-nurse and saying how great he looked now the yellowness is subsiding and how great it was to see him sleeping- (he hadn't slept more than a handful of hours since being admitted on the 17th May)

I had already told the nurses’ station that I was there and they were getting the Doctor for me for an update. The Doctor asked me to step outside... Fair enough I thought, Shorty is sleeping and doesn't want to hear us talk... Then the Doc asked me to come into the waiting room, for more "privacy", mm, fair enough. We get in there and sit down, I jokingly asked her "Is this where you take people for serious talks??" pause... "Wait... is this where you take people for serious talks?????!"... Actually finally realising I was in for said "serious talk".

I was pretty shocked at the news. Especially as I had seen him and thought he looked better than I had seen him in a while. Apparently not. I just wasn't expecting it.

The Doctor explained a few things to me and I must admit, I was zoning in and out... I really just wanted her to leave so I could burst into tears.

What I knew at this point was that the procedure that they tried to make Shorty better, just didn't work... and he is unable to recover. He is too weak and in poor health to try anything else... and apparently he was feeling distressed about the IV in his arm, so they removed it- so in essence he will quite literally waste away in there. Then it dawned on me, he wasn't going to be leaving the hospital alive. He would basically starve to death and there was nothing I could do.  It was too late.

A million and three things have gone through my head. I was angry. I was sad. I felt the hospital didn't try hard enough and that they gave up on him. Removing the drip?? Starving him to death? Not giving him any chance to fight??! My God, it breaks my heart... but after kicking up a mini fuss, I now understand that this may be a case of "cruel to be kind"- at least in their eyes. My family and I tried to get them to put the drip back in... I don't know, it just seems so wrong to let him starve to death. there response to this was that it was expected he would pass away something this week. It really was too late.

If only I had visited more???

It is about 90% sure that a cancerous mass is what has caused this latest stint in the hospital and even if he were to recover the way they had thought, he would still have had a long road and a very small chance of recovery.

He looks very peaceful now and even though I am beside myself about this... perhaps it is for the best. And an end to his suffering. I didn't know, but apparently he had been suffering pain for the past month or so- but refused to see a Doctor. When I initially went to visit him, I was talking to him about the procedure he needed, and in his confused state kept muttering "It's too late, it's too late"... I guess he knew.

I have had a chance to grieve- and he hasn't even passed away yet. It dawned on me over the weekend that some of the things he had said to me in the past fortnight or so at the hospital was him saying Goodbye to me. I dismissed him. I tried to change the subject. I really truly had no idea this was on the cards.

When I visited him over the weekend, I was with other people, so I withdrew myself emotionally but I need to say my Goodbyes too. 

I am preparing myself now for my visit this afternoon, where I will be verbalising my Goodbyes in privacy with him. I am not good in emotional situations. I am too emotional. I can't talk... But I need to this time. I have a chance to actually say Goodbye and tell him how much I appreciate everything he did for me, with the chance that he may actually hear me- it's debatable but I choose to believe he will hear me.

♡Missy

Sorry this post is all over the shop.

Been raining on my parade...

I was absolutely floating on air on Wednesday when I weighed in and discovered I was in the normal BMI catty... but of course it didn't last and my parade was rained on. *sigh

I mentioned earlier about my family friend/old baby sitter, Shorty, who is in hospital... well, he is not recovering too well. Still very confused, afraid and yellow... and I haven't been to visit for 2 days! The last time I went was horrible... It left me really emotionally drained and physically exhausted too.

I am visiting him tonight. Hopefully he recognises me, cos I am not too sure if he knew who I was last time. :(

I also got more bad news... My mum called to say that my God Mother had been diagnosed with Cancer. Again. She had throat cancer and now they have found cancer in her lungs... It is being biopsied. Apparently they wont treat it if it is the same cancer that was in her throat, as it means it has spread... but if it is new one, they will begin treating it.

*sighhhh

I so need the weekend. Now.

♡Missy

A, B, C of me!

I have seen this quiz popping up everywhere, so thought I'd give it a whirl!

A. Age: 28...
B. Bed size: Only a double and I am in dire need of a new mattress... but if I get a new mattress I want at least a Queen, which will mean saying goodbye to my trusty bedframe, of which I have the matching side tables and tallboy... Dilemmas!
C. Chore you hate: Um... easier question would be chore I love? None! ha! Possibly my most hated would be dishes- someone else’s' dishes specifically, especially if they have been "soaking" and the water is no longer hot and you have no idea what your hands are about to be submerged in... yuk.
D. Day: My favourite day has always been Thursday... I don't really know why. A better choice would be Saturday... you have usually had a sleep in (if you work mon-fri, which I do) and you can do whatever you like, as Sunday is a sleep in too... but no, I like Thursdays.
E. Essential start to your day: Pressing snooze!
F. Favourite colour: Pink!
G. Gold or Silver: Gold mainly.
H. Height: 168 or 169cms.
I. Instruments: Is voice included? I love singing... I have dabbled with violin (when I was a preppy) and also the Sax (in about year 9, but stopped because my school wanted me to join the Junior Band and I was waaay older then all of the junior band members and less experienced, so NO, I quit!).
J. Job title: Technically "Legal Secretary/Clerk" but I also have my own endeavours, so I’d prefer "Entrepreneur" thank you!
K. Kids: Nup... But I have 3 fur-babies (2 cats and a dog). I also live with  2 nephews (8 and 10) and have been an active part of their lives... Example; I was my sisters birthing partner for one of my nephews; the Hospital even put my name on the door! How cute is that?!
L. Live: Melbourne, Bayside!
M. Mum’s name: Rhonda, Rhondies, R-J, Mummsy.
N. Nicknames: Missy, Ris, Little Doll.
O. Overnight hospital stays: None... thankfully!
P. Pet peeve: I guess just basic disrespect... People can be so rude!
Q. Quote from a movie: From Clueless: Dionne: Hello? There was a stop sign. Cher: I totally paused.
R. Right or left handed: Right handed, but I eat like a lefty... It drives my mum and sister bonkers!
S. Siblings: 2 younger and 7 older.
T. Time you wake up: 7:30 ish...
U. Underwear: I adore cute underwear. I usually go for pink and today is no exception.
V. Vegetables you dislike: Red capsicum. Yukky.

W. What makes you run late: Hmm, I have nothing and no one to blame but myself.
X.  X-Rays you’ve had: Usual dentist ones, ankle and more recently my elbow after a fall at a health retreat- thankfully it wasn't broken!
Y. Yummy food you make: I don't really cook... I would LOVE to be able to make some desserts... After I finish my weight loss thing I really want to give cooking a chance. But our oven is broken ATM, and we have resorted to borrowing Mums' convection oven!
Z. Zoo: I do enjoy seeing the animals... but it makes me sad.

♡Missy

I'm normal, I'm normal!

Hello Hello!

I had my 15th week weigh in this morning and guess what?! I am officially NORMAL!!!

Huzzah!

I weighed in at 70.4, so a loss of 1.3kilos since last Wednesday... I must admit I was hoping for a bigger loss, but I am very relieved to be in the normal BMI category, even if it is a 'scrape in'... My BMI is 24.9- the very last number in the normal BMI catty.

PROOF!

Taken from this BMI calc.

"I'm normal, I'm normal, I'm normal!" she sings, as she sashays away...


♡Missy

P.S: My height is debatable... I have always known myself to be 169cms... I remember being measured at 169 at a school health check in like year 10 and I had a giggle at 6.9 (hehe), but when I began my diet I was measured at the clinic (who supplied me with the diet) and was measured as 168.. um, nah-uh!! I proceeded to get my mum to measure me and she too got 168 :( UNFAIR! And I still don't really buy it! I blame the carpet at both the clinic and my mums'... perhaps I sunk into both by exactly 1cm, hehe. It's that or I shrunk! Maybe my posture just sucks... but I was really trying to stretch taller when my mum was measuring me... Anyway, if I am in fact 169, my BMI would be 24.6 (bona fide normal BMI *insert cheesy grin*)

Updates...

Hello, hello, lovelies! 

Woah, let it be known I actually did wash my hair on Friday, as I had planned, but by the time I did so, it was late at night and I really couldn’t be trashed taking any photos, or even using the Milkshake Sugar Frosting supposed regrowth disguiser at all! But my rootage didn’t look as bad as I imagined, so I do still plan to give the Milkshake Sugar Frosting a good trial! 

I have a hair appointment on Thursday after workies, and I desperately need to wash my hair prior to that and that will be my very last moment to put the Milkshake Sugar Frosting to the ultimate regrowth test! Lol. Then I can trial it again with a smaller amount of regrowth after Thursday.

The last few days have been pretty drama-filled. My nephew’s half-brother, who is approaching 18, had a melt-down and went pretty nutso’s… Like crazy nuts for no good reason (he got a knife involved?! Wtf?). He got violent towards his Dad, which isn’t the smartest idea, as his Dad is a big strong guy and hadn’t even been antagonising him (which is something he is usually guilty of) and has done nothing but be pretty damn good to him. It was ridiculous… He then went on to run to his Mummy’s (who had previously booted him out), who he told big-fat lies to, and tried to blame it all on his Dad, telling her that they should call the cops on him,! Luckily my sister was there to tell her that he was the one lying and that was not what happened! He needs a good kick up the you-know-where! He needed a few good spankings in his younger years...But it’s probably too late for that now.

Then another drama, my old childhood babysitter/best friend was admitted to hospital (he is 75)… He isn’t doing too badly now, but he is delirious, agitated, scarily skinny and yellow- literally- due to jaundice and his body being unable to expel toxins. He is also really frightened, which is very sad to see, but the Doctors and Nurses looking after him are being very patient and they have been fantastic at explaining what is going on to me.

I was told he will continue to be quite confused for a few more days, while his body recovers from an operation to help him with the toxin-build-up, so fingers crossed for a speedy recovery.

I am lucky I work in Prahran and he was admitted to The Alfred Hospital, so I am able to go visit him every day- which I will endeavour to do, his face lights up when he sees a familiar face and the last thing I want is for him to think I have forgotten him! Friday was the first night I went to visit him and he didn’t look too bad, but he was trying to tie up loose ends and like say ‘goodbye’ to me… And whenever someone came in to administer medication he would mutter ‘it’s too late, it’s too late’. Truth be told, he looks worse off now, and I was in tears seeing him over the weekend- he looked like he was getting worse, not better! I am hoping he is feeling more settled today and allows his body time to recover. He looks very stressed and hasn't slept in days- he thinks the Nurses are "after him," and he barely eats, as he thinks he is being poisioned.

Get well soon, Shorty! xoxo

♡Missy

25 Questions...

I nicked this Quiz off sobeaucoup's blog ♥
 

Question 1: Do you have any pets ? Yes, I have 2 cats and a dog... Pets are a big part of my life. I love them with all of my heart- past and present! ♥♥♥♥♥♥
Question 2: Name three things that are physically close to you: My iPhone, baby pink Tupperware drink bottle and a big thermos of Green Tea, with Jasmine.
Question 3: What’s the weather like right now ? I'm always cold... But I think today might actually be cold to everyone- Although I noticed it was warm in the sun, at lunch time.
Question 4: Do you drive ? If so, have you crashed? Yes, I love driving! I was desperate to get my license when I was younger. I have been driving for over 10 years and no "crashes" to speak of... I have had a few bingles, but nothing serious.
Question 5: What time did you wake up this morning ? I totally forgot to set my alarm last night! Luckily I woke up at 7:45am, which wasn't too bad. I usually set my alarm for 7:30. Go Body Clock, GO!
Question 6: When was the last time you showered ? This morning!
Question 7: What was the last movie that you saw ? 'Water for Elephants' on Tuesday night.
Question 8: What does you last text message say? "No worries, just calling for a chat/bitch. Haha have fun in bed" I rejected a call from my bestie and sent her a msg saying I was in bed still sleeping- it was 1:20pm on Sunday morning... Since then my only other texts have been about voice messages, a 20% off alert from Price Attack. Boring.
Question 9: What is your ringtone ? I just use the old style telephone ring on my iPhone.
Question 10: Have you ever been to a different country? Yes... but only once, and that was just last year.
Question 11: Do you like sushi? Yes, I do... I haven't had any in a while though.
Question 12: Where do you buy your groceries? Mostly Coles or Thomas Dux. I love me some Thomas Dux.
Question 13: Have you ever taken any medication to help you fall asleep faster? Nup, but I did get a prescription for some sleeping pills, but never actually cashed them in.
Question 14: How many siblings do you have ? Plenty. 1 full-brother and 1 full-sister, both older. I also have 3 older half-sisters, 2 older half-brothers, plus 1 younger half-brother and 1 younger half-sister. There are 10 of us all up, all sharing the same Daddy! Whenever I tell people, especially when I was younger, they would often ask me if I knew all of their names... Um, hello? We're related, they are my brothers and sisters! Of course I know their names... I guess they were checking to see if I was telling a porky-pie!
Question 15: Do you have a desktop computer or a laptop? I have cute pink Sony Vaio laptop at home and use a desktop at workies.
Question 16: How old will you be turning on your next birthday? Oh my God, I don't really want to think about it... but 29. Wahhhhhh *wipes away a tear*
Question 17: Do you wear contacts or glasses ? Glasses. Last time I checked the only contacts available to me were hard ones, and my sister has got some and can't wear them- they are too uncomfortable... and they cost like $600! No thanks! The only thing that makes me want contacts are the cute little cases you can get for them. I so want a pink hello kitty one!
Question 18: Do you colour your hair ? Yessum.
Question 19: Tell me something you are planning to do today: Wash my hair and tidy my room. How exciting!
Question 20: When was the last time you cried? At the funeral I attended on Monday for WORLD CHAMPION BOXER, Lionel Rose. R.I.P Lionel... The legend begins now.
Question 21: What is your perfect pizza topping? Ooooh, it's been awhile... I used to just get a Margarita with pineapple, but the last one I had was sooooo good, it was a gourmet one and had pumpkin on it. Yum... Gourmet for the win!
Question 22: Which do you prefer, hamburger or cheeseburger? Well, I guess cheeseburger. Is the only difference the cheese? Either way, I would opt for cheese on a hamburger anyway.
Question 23: Have you ever had an all-nighter? Heck yeh! I used to pull all-nighters all the time in my younger years.
Question 24: What is your eye colour ? Ohhhh, this I do not know!! Yep, believe it! I reckon I am a mix of; grey, green, blue and hazel.
Question 25: Can you taste the difference between Pepsi and Coke? Yes. 100% without a doubt. I am a Diet Coke girl, but am partial to some Pepsi Light!


Hehe, that was fun!! P.S- You're tagged! :p


♡Missy

Milkshake Sugar Frosting... Update

Hi!

I just wanted to do a little update about Milkshake Sugar Frosting that I received last Thursday after workies, as I predicted.

I had somewhat of a busy weekend and didn't get a chance to really give it a good test drive, but my initial thoughts are: expensive dry shampoo, that doesn't do much besides add a sweet scent.

Hopefully my first impressions are proved wrong.

Like I said in my initial post, the rootage aspect of my hair is pretty impressive at the mo', so it is fair to say that the Milkshake Sugar Frosting had its' work cut out, but I really didn't see any concealment of my dark roots at all. Perhaps the powder is more suitable to blondes whose roots aren't as dark as mine- not that mine are actually that dark. I am probably a medium brown.

I will say that the scent is delicious... My hair smelt like an edible sweet vanilla cupcake! Even my BF noticed and commented! Application is also easy- though I am unsure how much product to actually use. It just says "a little goes a long way" and that is all as far as directions go! I sprinkled it quite tentatively onto my roots and used the little brush to spread it through- didn't notice much of a change, maybe a slight duller look of my dark roots but the scent is quite strong but not over-powering in any way at all. I didn't pay full RRP for the product, so if it turns out to be a fancy smelling dry shampoo type-of-thing I won't be too disappointed, but the prospect of being able to cover regrowth is very appealing. I want this product to work!

I don't wash my hair too often- twice a week maximum, so I want to give this stuff another try right after I have washed it and see if I notice any root concealment! I am due to wash my hair tonight... whether or not that will actually happen, is in question. LOL/ew. If I manage to, I will totes update, with photos!

Wishing you all a Sweet Day!

♡Missy

Weigh-in and Confession Time...

Hiya!

My last diet related post, was my 12th week weigh-in, which was 2 weeks ago and I weighed in at 73.2 kgs.

That next weekend, however, was Mother's Day... and I decided to take the day off, so I could enjoy lunch with my fams- which included my mum, sister (who is a mum), my brother, sister-in-law-ish (also a mum), her mum (obviously also a mum, haha), my nephews, baby niece and Uncle.

I don't exactly regret the decision to take the 'day' off, but I do question why a 'day' off turned into a 3 day bender?!!!

It started the eve of Mother's Day, when in anticipation of my day off, I asked myself 'why wait?' and devoured some chocolate right before bed. Unnecessary!... I felt instantly guilty, didn't even enjoy the chocolate and just shouldn't have even done it. FAIL.

Fast forward to Mother's Day lunch- I definitely enjoyed myself food-wise. The spread on offer was a BBQ, bread, heaps of carb-filled "salads"-think potato, pasta and even one with bacon, we had a cheese platter with crackers, vanilla puddings, and a delicious cake to top it off. I indulged in a bit of everything! I also treated myself to a cappuccino (milk is off the menu during my 'diet).

 Mmmm, the cake!

I can't remember what I had for dinner, chances are I was still full from lunch... but that night, right before bed, I finished off every-single-chocolate I could find. Including mini chocolate bars from a Cadbury Christmas stocking and left over Easter Eggs. Why oh why???

Then come Monday, it was tricky getting back into the swing of my diet. I cheated that day and bought a roast chicken from Coles to have with my salad… instead of facing a can of tuna. I took off all the skin and only ate the breast- even weighed it as if I had made it myself, but I know that pre-made chicken is OFF the menu as I have no control over what goes in it. It tasted so yum and succulent, it must have been soaked in oil. The nutritional panel on the chook said it was 8% fat, which I didn’t think sounded too bad- especially seeing as I was going to remove the skin, which was torture btw, but anyway, it is not part of my plan!

So, since then I have been trying to stick to my plan, but I only lost a few hundred grams in the week that included my binge-fest, and decided not to update until I was back on track!

Yesterday was my 14^th week weigh-in… and I came in at 71.7, so a loss of 1.7 kgs (but over 2 weeks). My weekly losing average is still 1.2 kgs, but I was hoping to maintain my 1.3 streak *sigh

Oh well, only 1.5kgs till I hit normal BMI status, 5ish kgs till I reach 66 (my lowest remembered weight ever), and who knows where I will go from there!

I am happy to say, I am completely over my guilt inducing binge-fest… The bridge has been well and truly built and even though I did suffer from some detox symptoms I am, thankfully, over them now and back on track!

Here is a peek at my weight-loss ticker, which I also just added as a widget... CUTE!




Cheerio!


♡Missy

Milkshake Sugar Frosting...

Huh? What was that?? A dessert?? Why would I mention something so deliciously tempting when I am on a quest to change my lifestyle??

No, no, sillies...

Milkshake Sugar Frosting isn't some sort of delicious dessert drink; it's for your hair... obviously!

Apparently, it can help conceal regrowth between salon visits (including greys, if needed), and also doubles as a dry shampoo, absorbing oil and making your hair smell yummy and sweet... Oh and it comes in this adorable little tin!

Major Bonus: AUSTRALIAN MADE!

RRP is AU$60 and a tin will last around 168 applications (why so specific? haha), with each application lasting between 8 and 20 hours*

Used daily, the tin should last you for 6months, but you wouldn't need it every day now, would you? Hopefully roots won't need concealing just after you've just been to the hair dressers or sometime afterwards, for that matter!

I stumbled across this stuff quite some time ago, but I only purchased it yesterday (on a whim, which is weird, considering I had been umm'ing and ahh'ing for donkey's years) and it should be at my PO Box when I go by after workies. And the timing couldn't be more perfect because...

♥ I am between salon visits
♥ My regrowth has been getting me down of late, and making me consider ditching the blonde locks 
♥ I am attending a Funeral on Monday and I don't want to go with gross looking hair!

I got Vanilla Cupcake Blonde, but there is a powder to suit most hair colours; Milk Chocolate Brunette, Raspberry Creme Redhead and Boysenberry Black.

I will let you guys know how I go... AND I will post some piccys too. My rootage is so bad at the mo', it's the perfect time to see if this delicious product can live up to its' claims! And after researching online, I couldn't find any pictures to show what the product can do, so I will be posting my results; good or bad.

"Milkshakes Sugar Frosting is a chic easy-to-apply luxurious mineral based hair powder that conceals re-growth including greys and absorbs excess oil whilst helping to keep hair healthy, manageable and revitalised. Naturally preserved and completely free of dyes, alcohol and artificial colours. Milkshake's fabulous formulas are infused with yummy smells. Ideal for use between salon visits, one application of Milkshake's unique formula can last for up to 20 hours."

Sounds good to me!

♡Missy

Source: Google images
*apparently there is less product in the pack for blondes! 4 month supply instead of 6.

Blog Clean Up

Hiya Guys and Dolls!

I just did a little clean up of my blog, as it was waaay too busy and hard to read before and plus it just didn't really reflect me.

I'm not going to lie, I have absolutely no idea what I am doing here in blog-land. hehe. Consider this blog a blog with training wheels, please.

I am trying to get into "Blog Mode"... I want to blog but I haven't gained that bloggers' eye, and only ever think of blogging after the fact and by that time it means twice the effort.

Anyways, I'm learning and as they say 'Rome wasn't built in a day'...

♡Missy

12th week weigh-in...

Today marks 12 weeks on my weight loss plan... I lost 1.1 kgs this week. Interestingly enough, the same amount as last week. I am now 73.2 kgs. My total weight lost now sits at 15.5kgs! Getting closer and closer to being in the ideal BMI category! (2.1kgs to go, I think).

It's funny how when you first begin and see the long road ahead, you feel so disheartened and it seems as though it is going to take forever... but then, of course, when you look back it just doesn't seem as long. 12 weeks. It sounds like a long time... but had I not started then, who knows where I would be now?? Those few months would have just flashed by me and instead of sitting back and, I dunno, hoping for a miracle, I am actually doing something about a serious issue I have and seeing results (phew!).

I feel so much better for the sacrifices I have made... On one hand I feel proud that I have managed to stick with the plan basically this whole time, that's 12 whole weeks or 84 days of weighing each of the 3 meals I am able to eat, waiting at least 5 hours between meals, rationing my limited saladas, waiting 2.5hours between serves, limiting myself to 2 pieces of fruit, drinking between 2 and 3 litres of water, controlling my diet coke addiction by limiting myself to 2 cans, etc etc... BUT on the other hand, I feel like I deserve/d to be punished for all my over-indulging.

I have gotten pretty decent results and though it seems like a lot of mucking around with my diet, I have literally done ZERO exercise (to the extent that I purposely take the lift at my car park to avoid the stairs, haha)... That probably sounds bad, and I'm not saying I hate exercise or think it doesn't work for losing weight... I know it does (hello, Biggest Losers?!) but it just didn't for me.

I used to work my butt off at the gym and with a PT (sadly I don’t mean literally), and ate "right" (tried it by myself, with a dietician, using lite'n'easy etc) but for some reason my weight barely budged. After 6 months of weekly PT sessions, 2x group classes a week and being on a 1,200 calorie diet with Lite'n'Easy I only lost about 6kgs... And at over 100 kilos, for my efforts; I was not being rewarded, so I gave up.

This plan works for me, and once I am at my goal weight, I will increase my food (slowly, I have a plan) and increase my exercise... And I am actually looking forward to it! I have a month trial at Contours, 6 weeks of Zumba classes at a Fernwood gym, a 6 week unlimited VibroGym trial, my Couch to 5k running application on my iPhone- all ready to G.O and believe me, I am excited!! And let’s just say exercising without carrying all those extra kilos, is much much easier.